Call Me Selfish
by mitmiya
Summary: (Yaoi/MitMiya-RuHana) What would Ryota do now after his best bud gave him that kiss? What's gonna happen to their friendship? Would it be ruined totally? Or would it turn into something deeper? C&C, plz.
1. Default Chapter

CaLL Me SelFisH **Title:** Call Me Selfish.  
  
**Characters:** MitMiya - Yaoi, shohoku team and the company.  
  
**Disclaimer:** Dun own Slam Dunk, and I guess I'll never will.. *starts day-dreaming* I wish I did.  
  
**A/N:** Ma first MitMiya, ma favorite couple in the series. They're just soooooooooo cute, and who dinies it, just lemme take care of 'em ^^;; Hope you'll like it.. Reviews are HEAVILY appreciated!  
  
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_ "But Aya-chan.." Ryota's eyes became teary, "I.. I love you."  
  
Ayako sighed, "I love you too, Ryota, but as a friend.. a best friend and nothing else. I'm sorry, but I can't look at you that way." Then she walked away._  
  
Ryota Miyagi sat on the bench in the park, his puffed, red eyes had cried a million tears but still they weren't dry. His tired head rested on his hands while his elbows rested on his knees. His tears seemed to roll down his face a little bit slower, he wasn't expecting that and even if he did, he had to try. He had to ask Ayako to see if she'd reject him or not, but he never thought that she would pick the second choice and reject him.  
  
Her words echoed in his mind once, twice and many times that made him lose count. He just wished that this was just a bad dream and he'd wake up in any moment, but the pain that he felt in his heart wasn't giving him any other choice. It was *REAL*, he *had* been rejected few moments ago and he *was* sitting on that bench sobbing like a little kid.  
  
HE WAS REJECTED!  
  
He groggily stood up and wiped his tears away, the two years he spent on chasing his crush seemed to be wasted now. Wasted on hopes that now faded away, wasted like watching raining clouds which kept flying above him while he was thirsty, then left without letting go of any drop.  
  
He clenched his fist and teeth as an attempt to hold his tears back, he shouldn't be weak like this, his pride couldn't let him be like that puplicily. He should get over Ayako as he got over many other girls. This wasn't the first time he got rejected, but still.. the pain was there, he never felt like it before. It was different, more painful than any pain he had known in his whole life. Even that pain he felt after his fight with Mitsui can't be compared to what he felt now. Nothing can be.  
  
He looked up at the place that his legs led him to, the gym. He shouldn't be surprised at all. Where would he go else where? His apartment? Heh, he never liked that place and it was his habbit to practice in that time, anyway. But never this late.  
  
He opened the doors of the gym and got in slowly, he never thought that he'd feel so sad to get into this place. This place where he saw his 'Aya-chan' for the first time. This place where his hopes were built on, the hopes that faded a while ago.  
  
He felt like crying again, but he ignored the prisoners who tried hard to escape from their cell and started to dribble the ball. He seemed to be drifted away into another world of his own when he started to dribble it faster and faster as if he was playing one-on-one with an invisible opponent. He dribbled faster passing the ball through the small gap between his legs. Suddenly, he ran to the basket deciding to make a lay-up.  
  
Ryota jumped to put the orange rubberized ball in the hoop, suddenly a realization hit him. Even this game, he played it only to impress Ayako, to be near her. She was the reason he joined the team in the first place.  
  
He lost his balance and fell on his face, he layed there for a while still letting his mind relax a bit. He closed his eyes shut relaxing, he needed a long sleep to get some of his strength back. He was very tired, exhausted.  
  
He seemed to be falling asleep when somebody opened the door of the gym so sudden. He winced at the sudden noise which broke the peaceful calmness he was in. Ryota looked up to see a very familiar tall figure.  
  
"I always knew you had a crush on the ground." The figure teased with a grin, then he held a hand out for the fallen boy, "Wharra ya doin' here?"  
  
"Same question to you, Mitsui." Ryota said taking Mitsui's hand, when he was on his feet, he turned quickly to pick the ball not wanting Mitsui to notice his face. The face which was filled with hurt and tracks of his tears. He started dribbling, his back to Mitsui.  
  
"Well, I come to the gym at this time everyday." Mitsui said, "What about you? Shouldn't you be chasing Ayako? Or at home writing some peoms to her?" He teased again.  
  
The sound of the ball hitting the floor stopped, Mitsui looked worriedly at his shorter friend. Ryota caught the ball and tightened his grip on it, suddenly a tear fell on the ball and rolled on it slowly followed by others.  
  
"Ryota?" Mitsui walked slowly to the point-guard and put his hand on his shoulder, "What's wrong?" He asked, concern in his voice.  
  
"Eleventh," He whispered.  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"She's my eleventh!" He shouted at him, "She *rejected* me! Happy now, Mr Mitsui?!"  
  
Mitsui backed away from Ryota, feeling his burning anger. "Wharra you talking about? Who rej.." Suddenly, he figured everything out and his features softened. He approached Ryota and tried to give him a comfort hug, but before he could the latter threw the ball at him angrily and left the gym. Mitsui was able to catch it before hitting him, he looked at the -still opened- doors of the gym, then whispered, "Ryota."  
  
  
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**A/N:** Just the start, I thought that I should've make it one-shot, but nah.. I'm better off with chapters. please, R/R.. Arigatou ^____^ And Liete-chan.. This is for you!! 


	2. Chappy 2

**Title:** Call Me Selfish.  
  
**Characters:** The sweetest couple eva' MitMiya ^_______^  
  
**Disclaimer:** Nope, dun own 'em nor Bonnie Tyler's song. And ahh, I dun own LC program either. O.o; Oh man! If that's so, what the hell do I own in this world?!  
  
**A/N:** *teary eyes* Thanks for the reviews guys you really made me feel relieved. I'm happy that you liked this fic, though of the many mistakes it contains. Arigatou ^_______________________________________^  
  
***______***______***______***  
  
  
"Ayako," Ayako heard a familiar voice calling her name with mixture of worry and concern. She stopped writing her notes and fully turned around to face the vice-captain of Shohoku team.  
  
"Oh! Kogure-sempai." Her voice was low which seemed to affect her head also which was lowered down to the ground. Kogure noticed the change on Ayako, she was pretty different for the last couple of days. The usual smiling, cheering manageress turned into an absent-minded girl who was spacing out most of the times.  
  
"Are you alright?" Kogure asked.  
  
"I'm alright, sempai, don't worry." She said tiredly.  
  
"You don't seem fine to me?" He said, "What's bothering you?"  
  
She sighed, "I'm worried about Ryota."  
  
"There's nothing to worry about, Mitsui said that he only got cold and he'll get better in no time." Kogure said smiling.  
  
"Yeah, nothing to worry about." She mumbled looking away, 'Hope he's alright.'  
  
From the court, the shooting guard was watching the two with sad eyes, this couldn't be happening. Did Ryota really got rejected? But, how come? How did Ayako reject him like that? They were meant for each other in everybody's eyes, he never thought that it could end up this way.  
  
Mitsui couldn't think of anything else as an excuse for Ryota's absence except sickness, everyone has cold, don't they? But it wasn't a lie, Ryota was really sick, emotionally sick. His usual red face from blushing became red from anger and Mitsui didn't know how to handle this. He wasn't ever good at those stuff.  
  
He had been watching Ryota helplessly not knowing what to do to help him out of this. All of his attempts to calm the young man down went to no avail, it seemed that time was the only medicine to Ryota for now...  
  
Time.  
  
>  
  
"Welcome guys, this is another show of LC, listeners' choice. Three hours of your requests. Request online. This is your host, Saffanna Bostami and Mr Gandy is our DJ for this show. Please, enjoy yourselves." The sweet voice of the famous show presenter, Saffanna filled the apartment of Miyagi Ryota as it came out from the small radio in his room, "You can send your requests by email or even let us hear your voice by calling. Anything you want, you got it. Your wishes are our commands."  
  
Ryota sat to his desk, his arms were used as a pillow as his head rested on them. He seemed to be asleep with his closed eyes and his following breaths. But the thing that blew the chance of him being asleep was his tears. Can anybody cry in his sleep?  
  
Although of his miserable condition, Ryota couldn't miss one show of his favorite program. It was his habbit to listen to LC after the practice, he would lay on his bed tiredly and listen to the show until it ends, and curse when the News headlines interrupts the show. He was a good friend of the program, always calling, asking for songs and dedicating. But this time, he wasn't in the mood to do anything.  
Anything at all.  
  
"Alright people, that was a good tune by Nelly and Kelly 'Dilemma', seems that it's gonna take the first place in the LC top10, isn't that right, guys?" He heard her voice say lively. He lifted up his head and looked at the radio for few moment, then his hand reached for the phone. His fingers slowly pressed the telephone number of the radio station.  
  
"The radio station, who's talking?"  
  
"Hey, Suzan. It's Ryota." He tried to sound cheerful.  
  
"Hey you, Ryota. How's things goin? I've been waiting for your call." Though he couldn't see it, but he felt her smiled, "I'll put you on air in no time. You just wait, k?"  
  
"ok." He whispered. His hand turning the volume of the radio down.  
  
"And now, we got a caller." Saffanna said taking Ryota's call, "Hello there caller, who's with me?"  
  
"Hey, Saf. It's Ryota with you again."  
  
"Hey, hey, Ryota. How's our faithful friend?"  
  
"Great as long as I'm listening to yer show." Ryota said.  
  
"Nice compliment from you as always." Saffanna said after a soft laugh, "Now, what's yout request for this lovely night?"  
  
"I wanna ask for Total Eclipse Of The Heart, by Bonnie Tyler."  
  
"Lovely one. I guess you want to dedicate it to Aya-chan as usual."  
  
Ryota froze not knowing what to say.  
  
"Ryota?" Saffanna called.  
  
"Ahh, sorry Saffanna. I can't hear you well." He said then he hang up as fast as he could. His trembling fingers raised the volume of the radio.  
  
"And here's your song, Ryota Miyagi. Total Eclipse Of The Heart by Bonnie. Enjoy!"  
  
The song slowly started to play, the words came out from the radio right into Ryota's ears. His heart was beating like crazy as his mind analyzed the words and got their meaning in less than a part of a second. It played in his mind forcing his tired brain to regain the memories of his rejection.  
  
_**------*****************************------  
  
Turnaround, every now and then I get a  
little bit lonely and you're never coming around  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a   
little bit tired of listening to the sound of my tears   
  
--------------  
**_ Ryota's hands wiped his tears away, he looked at his fingers, at his tears and how they glowed under the light of his lamb. Was this all he got left? His tears? His misery? Was he going to leave this destroy him? Wasn't he planing to get over it? Just forget that this all happened? But it was hard, he knew that. It was hard to face Ayako again.  
_**--------------  
  
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a   
little bit nervous that the best of all the years have gone by   
Turnaround, Every now and then I get a   
little bit terrified and then I see the look in your eyes   
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and   
then I fall apart   
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and   
then I fall apart   
  
--------------  
**_ She gave him her back and walked away, not even caring about his reaction. She just left him to fall apart at the reply that she gave him. No more hopes of being with Ayako as a couple. No more sending presents to her and flowers as an attempt to get her atention. No more nothing with her, just friends. Only best friends.  
_**--------------  
  
And I need you now tonight   
And I need you more than ever   
And if you'll only hold me tight   
We'll be holding on forever   
And we'll only be making it right   
Cause we'll never be wrong together   
We can take it to the end of the line   
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time   
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark   
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks   
I really need you tonight   
Forever's gonna start tonight   
Forever's gonna start tonight   
  
--------------  
**_ Forever, him with her. He wished that this little dream would come ture. He wished that he could feel her in his arms and know that he could hold her forever without any complaining. But not all dreams come true, not all of them.  
_**--------------  
  
Once upon a time I was falling in love   
But now I'm only falling apart   
There's nothing I can do   
A total eclipse of the heart   
Once upon a time there was light in my life   
But now there's only love in the dark   
Nothing I can say   
A total eclipse of the heart   
  
--------------  
**_ He felt his heart break, though he thought that it had already did when she left him alone in the park. How many times could the little heart of his break? How long could he stand it?  
_**--------------  
  
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and   
then I fall apart   
Turnaround bright eyes, Every now and   
then I fall apart   
  
And I need you now tonight   
And I need you more than ever   
And if you'll only hold me tight   
We'll be holding on forever   
And we'll only be making it right   
Cause we'll never be wrong together   
We can take it to the end of the line   
Your love is like a shadow on me all of the time   
I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark   
We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks   
I really need you tonight   
Forever's gonna start tonight   
Forever's gonna start tonight   
  
Once upon a time I was falling in love   
But now I'm only falling apart   
There's nothing I can do   
A total eclipse of the heart   
Once upon a time there was light in my life   
But now there's only love in the dark   
Nothing I can say   
A total eclipse of the heart   
**_   
------*****************************------  
  
"Alright, that was Bonnie Tyler with Total Eclipse Of The Heart. Now, we got an email from.." Saffanna's voice was interrupted by the door bell, Ryota turned violently with his brow shooting up, 'Who'd visit now?'  
  
He stood up and headed to the door cursing silently. He wasn't in the mood to see anybody. Weird how people don't remember him except in his worst conditions. "Who is it?"  
  
"It's me, Mitsui. Open up."  
  
He sighed then opened the door, "What d'ya want?" He asked a little bit angry.  
  
"Only wanted to check on you." Mitsui said with a smile.  
  
"And from when did you become my mother?" Ryota asked angrily.  
  
"From the moment you started to act like a little kid and stay at home." Mitsui replied.  
  
"Are you here to annoy me? You know that I'm not in the mood!" Ryota said getting back to his room. Mitsui followed after he closed the door. He rushed to Ryota's room, the music crept into his ears.  
  
"Listening to some music?" Mitsui said jumping on the bed.  
  
"Hey, watch it! I dun wanna sleep on the ground today." Ryota shouted, "You're no that light, y'know."  
  
Mitsui sighed sitting on the side of the bed, "Aren't you going to get over this?"  
  
"And why the hell would you care?! I'll get over it whenever I want." He shouted.  
  
Mitsui got up and gave Ryota a quick shake, "Wake up, God dammit. Everything kept moving in this world, why can't you do so?"  
  
"Hands off!" Ryota shouted his face becoming red with his fists clenched. His body trembled violently from anger, "I'm trying, God DAMIIT! I'm trying!" His eyes started to pour tears, "I just can't! It's not easy!"  
  
Mitsui bit his lip at his best friend's sight. He approached him slowly and wrapped his arms around him, "Hey, it's ok. You'll see, everything would be ok."  
  
He felt Ryota clinging to him burying his face against his chest. His tears found their way into Mitsui's tee-shirt weting it and crawling down to his chest weting it also.  
  
He unconsciously patted on Ryota's back, but was he feeling his face getting hot? What was going on? He prayed to God the Ryota wouldn't feel his crazy-beating heart.  
  
"Thanks Mitsui." Ryota's voice came muffled, but Mitsui was able to get it.  
  
"Hey, no thanks between us, bud." Mitsui said smiling. He pulled Ryota from his hug, "Now, go and wash your face and get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow at school, ok? I want to see you there."  
  
"ok." Ryota whispered.  
  
"But don't you dare to stay at home, 'cause if you did, I'll come here and pull you there from your ear." Mitsui smirked.  
  
"Hai, dun worry. I'll be there." Ryota smiled.  
  
"Ok, see ya later then." Mitsui said heading to the door and leaving Ryota alone. He walked in the streets under the lambs' light. He had a smile on his face, everything is becoming fine. He hoped it would stay that way until the end.  
  
  
  
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**A/N:** This chapter is finally done! God, I'm tired. So many things I haven't finish and the exams, YUCK! Exams!!! Well, this chappy goes to the sweet Mayumi, you just keep on writin ma best bud, k? I'll be waiting ^_____^ 


	3. Chappy 3

**Title:** Call Me Selfish.  
  
**Pairing:** MitMiya - Mitsui/Miyagi.  
  
**Disclaimer:** Dun own anything, please dun sue me! I was working REALLY hard to gain some money, I wanna enjoy 'em. PLEASE!  
  
**A/N:** So, third chapter after a LOOOONG time, I hope that you liked the last two chapters. I know that some of you liked the first, but the second! Seems like no one did O.o; Well, hope that you'll enjoy this one. Please, R/R.  
  


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Mitsui lie on his bed facing the ceiling with his arms under his head. His table lamb was turned on. What was wrong with him? He hadn't enjoyed his sleep since, he didn't know since when, but all he knew that his lack of sleep is tiring out the best of him. Everytime he closed his tired eyes, a muffin head would appear then he realizes that it's Ryota Miyagi. 'That stupid point-gurad, why wouldn't he leave my mind alone for a sec?!' He asked in his thoughts so many times that he had lost count.  
  
Tired from the same sight for a couple of hours for now, he rolled on his side looking at the digital clock on the bedside table. 4:00 am. The numbers teased him, taking their time to change into a new shape, into a new number. 1 minute, an eternity passed then it became 2 minutes, another century passed and it became 3 minutes, 4 minutes, 5 minutes. Finally, he growled and rolled to his other side only to face the wall. He studied it, 'Some places are darker than the others!' He thought, 'Why's that? Hmm, maybe this is what Sensai was talking about a week ago.'  
  
He sighed, this was irritating. He jumped from his bed and headed to the kitchen hoping to find something eatable. Unfortunatly, there wasn't any, so he grabbed a soda and seated himself to the kitchen's table. He opened the soda and took a sip, looking at the fridge that stood infront of him. He placed the can on the table still looking at the fridge. It didn't move, it didn't talk, it didn't do anything. 'This IS boring.' He thought to himself and sighed.  
  
So, what was he supposed to do now? He hated loniness and couldn't bare the idea of staying in this stupid apartment for another minute. He took another sip and closed his eyes trying to relax.  
  
'Ryota, get off my mind.' He said angrily to the boy who stood infront of him in his thoughts, he saw him crossing his arms infront of his chest with a smirk.  
  
'Make me.' He challenged.  
  
'I'm too tired to do so.' He sighed, 'So, what do you want now?'  
  
Ryota rubbed his chin, then sighed, 'Dunno. It's your thoughts not mine.'  
  
'Well, I have to get some rest before I head off to school. So, get outta sight.'  
  
Ryota shrugged and walked away his hands behind his head whistling. Mitsui watched Ryota with his back facing him, he bit his lip. What should he do in such situation? What was he supposed to do?  
  
'Ryota!' He called and the point-guard turned around looking at him questioningly, 'What should I do?'  
  
'Well, you should do what your heart tells you.'  
  
'But.. that's the problem! I'm not sure if.. if I.. I can't tell what my heart's telling me. I'm not sure.'  
  
'I can't tell you either, but I can tell you that if you listened carefully you'll hear what it's trying to tell you. And until then, I'll be waiting for you.' He winked.  
  
'But.. what if.. I might get rejected.'  
  
'Better try than losing your crush, right?'  
  
'Maybe.. but-'  
  
'Hisashi,' Ryota interrupted, 'dun start with buts, ifs and maybes. Just act and watch the react, if you kept thinking like that, you'll just be outta time and then.. I'll be walking away.'  
  
Mitsui sighed, 'think I should conf-' Suddenly, a loud noise jerked him awake. He shot up from the chair that he'd slept on and rushed to his room turning the alarm clock off. He looked at it and sighed, time to go to school. He put his school uniform on, grabbed his bag and headed off to school.  
  
'Should I confess?' He hadn't complete his question, maybe the Ryota in his dream would've answered it but, damn, fuck his luck. He can't remember having worse days than those. He was always that cool, cheeky ex-gangster, but the hell is happening to him! He was getting nervous everytime he was near Ryota and he was hardly managing to hide it. It'd been three days since he visited Ryota in his apartment, and since then he didn't know what to do with those.. feelings that he had for his shorter teammate.  
  
"Oi, Mitsui-san!" He heard his name being called by a very familiar voice that became a kind of sweet music to his ears.  
  
"Ryota! Ohayo." He turned to face his crush with a grin, "I can see that you decided to come to school by yourself, I'd hate to pull you from your ear again."  
  
Ryota looked at his fingers as he placed the tips together embarrased, "Well, I wasn't in the mood to go to school back then."  
  
"Hey, s'okay. Have there been anybody in a mood to go to it before?" He hooked his arm around Ryota's shoulders and felt like if he had touched an uncovered wire. Man, the effect that he had on him. "But it all turned up pretty good after all, right?"  
  
"Yeah," he sighed, "guess so."  
  
"Ok, buddy. Let's go to school."  
  


|/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\/|\|

  
Ayako watched Ryota the whole practice. He was getting better, She'd guess andshe felt if a huge weight had been lifted off her chest and shoulders. One thing left to be done, which was talking to him. She had hesitated and rejected the idea in the first, but it seemed essential to try saving their friendship. She didn't want to lose Ryota, maybe she couldn't take him as a boyfriend, but as a best friend.. she'd welcome him with arms wide open.  
  
She had waited for the first opportunity to talk to him in private, and when they were alone in one of the court's corners she started, "Hmm, listen Ryota. I just want to apologize about that day, but I want you to understand that I can't feel that way about you. I know that I caused you alot of pain, but I wish that you can find a tiny space in your heart to forgive me." She said, she watched him averting her gaze as she talked. Her guilt tightened her chest, what should she do to make it up for him? Suddenly, he looked at her with a forced smile.  
  
"It's okay, Ayako." First time she heard him call her that, "I *do* understand that I'm only a best bud and I'm okay with it. Guess that I'll get over this soon, so dun worry yourself about me. I'll be fine."  
  
"Sure?"  
  
He nodded, "Yep, sure."  
  
She sighed in relief and smiled, "Friends?" She stretched her hand out.  
  
"You bet." A grin, also a forced one.  
  
"See you later, then." She said.  
  
"Yeah, later." And he watched her walk away. He sighed, well, he had faced her at last. Wasn't as bad as he thought it would be.  
  
"You okay?"  
  
"Yeah, sure, Mitsui." He said heading to his gym bag, he put it over his shoulder, "we should be heading home now, right?"  
  
'We?!' He thought shocked, but he recovered quickly, "Right, let's go."  
  
The two headed out of the gym and hit the road home. Awkward silence fell on them, Mitsui wished he could be able to slow his pumping heart down. He wished this whole thing would end, he wished that he could confess his love for Ryota, but.. something was holding him back. What? Fear of rjection? Fear of freaking him out? Fear of.. what?  
  
They finally reached the corner that sends each one of them to a different direction. They stood there for a moment, Mitsui looked at Ryota straight in the eye. 'Now or never,' he thought and then he titled Ryota's head up and leaned forward. Shock was what Ryota felt as he saw Mitsui leaning, 'What the-?' Then he felt Mitsui's lips on his own and his eyes windened.  
  
When he got his control back, he pulled away still shocked, "What.. what's wrong with YOU?!" He shouted at him, "what was that?!"  
  
Mitsui felt himself trembling, he didn't expect that reaction. What should he do now, "Ryota.."  
  
"No, NO! No talking!" He shouted, "God, I have to.. God." He looked at Mitsui in disbelief before he turned around and ran away. Mitsui watched him sadly, what have he done?  
  
**What have he DONE?!**  
  
  


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**A/N:** So, what d'ya think?! Was it worth waiting? ok, I know that it's SHORT.. but hey, guess that the next one would be longer. Well, honestly.. I kinda forgot bout continuing this piece of work, but somethings happened and I had to get my mind busy from thinking bout 'em. *sigh* Well, hope you enjoyed it.. And Mayumi, I guess I didn't thank you enough for being there for me. ^^ Please, R/R. 


	4. What Now?

**Title:** Call Me Selfish.  
  
**Pairing:** Looky above at my pen-name.  
  
**Disclaimer:** *crying uncontrolablely* I told you.. I do NOT own anything *sniffs* Probabely never will *sniffs* but.. in my dreams *grins* that's another story ^.^  
  
**A/N:** -_- I' just decided to save you the headache from readin all my babbling. Onto the ficcy of mine.  
  


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He hadn't known that he was running that fast. He hadn't even known that he was running in the first place. All he could remember was standing with Mitsui-san, his best buddy and teammate, before he did the last thing he could think of. KISS him! He could remember the sight of him leaning towards him with his half-shut, half-open eyes and then he felt a pair of warm lips on his own. That was the moment he freaked out, it's Mitsui for God's sake. The guy who he took as his brother, his bud. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be.  
  
And speaking of what could and couldn't, Ryota couldn't see what was around him, all he saw was the lighted road infront of him and him running away. From what? He wasn't sure. To where? He wasn't sure about that either. All he knew that he had to get away from this.. this craziness. He had to get away.  
  
The next thing he knew, there was something wet streaming down his cheeks, tears? Was he really crying? But he didn't give a damn, crying not crying, he had to get away. Somewhere safe, somewhere alone, away from people. Away from his assumed best friend. How could he do such thing? How did he.. Why! Why now!  
  
He grabbed his gym bag and hugged it firmly as he kept running; hoping that it can give him some safety and comfort, not noticing how many heads he had turned around and how many eyes followed him as he passed by. But he hadn't noticed anything; he was in another world, where he was totally confused and lost.  
  
His tears blurred his visions, but he didn't bother himself with wiping them away; his hands were so busy clinging to the gym bag. With unclearly vision, he barely saw the people infront of him and suddenly a figure blocked his way and he hit it fiercely. He felt himself fall on his butt, he looked up trying to recognize the person who stood before him. When he couldn't see well from his tears, he decided to brush them away. With a shakey hand, he wiped them away quickly and looked up to see Sakuragi Gundam.  
  
"Miyagi?!" He looked at Yohei whose brows had shot up in shock, "What's wrong?"  
  
Ryota knew that his eyes would blow any cover he'd try to take, though he couldn't see them, he knew that they were puffy red. He saw Yohei's stretched hand, and he took it quickly; he didn't think that he would be able to get up on his feet on his own. Now, as he was on his feet, he kept a grip on his gym bag and tried to smile.  
  
"What are you doin here?" He managed to ask, he had just noticed that the four guys were hiding from something or someone, not wanting to be seen. He wondered what would grab Sakuragi Gundam's attentions? And why wasn't Sakuragi with them as usual?  
  
Ookusu pointed out, "Look over there!" He said with a smile.  
  
Ryota followed the latter's finger, he pointed to the park, actually, at the bench in the middle of the park. Ryota saw two figures sitting on it, their lips met covering their faces. 'So what?' Ryota thought, 'Why would they be inrested in a couple kissing?! There are millions of them?!'  
  
Suddenly, they broke the kiss and looked at each other with a wide smile. Ryota felt his chest tighten, and his eyes widen with his jaw droping. "What the-?" He chocked out, was he seeing well? Was the couple that sat on that bench be.. 'NO! It's impossible.' He wanted to shout his thoughts out loud, but his dry throat didn't help him at all.  
  
"Aren't they great together?" Takamiya said as he looked at the couple. They all turned to Ryota, shockingly, they saw that the boy had frozen in his place. With widened eyes with wide-opened mouth, "Ryota?!"  
  
He looked at them, closing his mouth but his eyes were still the same and his face kept the stunned expression. He looked at the four figures before him, then at the couple, again at the Gundam. He tightened his grip on the bag, "Impossible." He whispered, then he began to run again.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Noma asked as he scratched the back of his head, "He doesn't think that Rukawa and Hanamichi are a good couple?"  
  


>  
  
He didn't know how he made it to his apartment, but he found himself lying on the bed with his head buried in his pillow. His heart was aching like hell, aching more than his exhausted body was. His confused mind kept asking questions rapidly, and the more it continued, the worse got the questions.  
  
This week wasn't the best, he couldn't recall having worse days than those which passed by. First of all, Ayako's rejection that sent his world upside down. He didn't even get over it completely when Mitsui decided to throw him into another problem, another heartache. Then the third surprise, the icebox and the redheaded monkey were actually a couple now. Everytime those facts hit him, he started to wonder. 'What the hell **IS** going on?'  
  
He was relaxing a bit when another question popped into his mind. What was he supposed to do now? Rukawa and Sakuragi's relationship wasn't a problem, but Mitsui's feelings was a big problem. He didn't know how he would be able to look at his eyes again and act like nothing had happened, 'cause somthing *had* happened. And it wasn't anything, it was another guy wanting to be with him, and he wished that guy was anyone, he was his BEST bud.  
  
When he found that he was having a hardtime breathing, he rolled onto his side, only to face the wall. A hot sigh came out of him as he closed his eyes trying to relax, but to no avail. This whole situation was a pain in the behind.  
  
The one thing he was sure about that things will never be the same again, noway, nohow. He knew that he couldn't abandon Mitsui's friendship, but in the same time, he knew that hanging around him will be uncomfortable.  
  
Another sigh.  
  
But the other option was.. be with Mitsui. As a boyfriend, he never thought about something like that and if Mitsui hadn't kissed him, he probablely never would. Well, he did love him. As a friend and a brother, yeah undoubtly. As a boyfriend and lover, not sure. This wasn't easy, not easy at all. Ryota was new to the guy-to-guy thing, so he needed some help. From experts, or people who had experienced such stuff.  
  
Ryota shot up from his bed, 'Yeah, experts.' He thought and a smile crossed his face.  
  
  


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A/N: Short ne? ^^;; I know, I'm not too good with long chapters, blame me. Well, I wanna thank Liete and Mayumi. Gurls.. you rock. ^^  
Plz, C&C minna. 


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